In light of that, we’ve decided to take a temporary break from our public Gatherings at the Exchange. I am currently working on building a launch team that will meet and do some thinking and experimenting over the next couple of months. We hope to launch public gatherings again in the early fall.

I’ll be posting about our progress and what we’re up to, so stay tuned to this space and on our Facebook page. This is a community in progress and we are trying to take the time to make sure that we are doing things in a way that brings health and life.

When I first left the church I grew up in, a fundamentalist evangelical church, one of the first doctrines I rejected was the idea that God demanded that Jesus be crucified for my sins. I couldn’t (and still can’t) get behind the idea of worshipping a God that demands a blood sacrifice to be appeased. And in throwing out that doctrine for a while I also threw out the idea of resurrection. Easter became an uncomfortable holiday. Something I wasn’t quite sure how to observe. I didn’t know how to make it meaning without buying into a theology that I find incredibly psychologically and spiritually damaging. But this is the high holy day of Christendom. If I don’t believe this, then can I call myself a Christian?

I wrestled with this for a really long time. As I repackaged and reconfigured my faith this was the doctrine I couldn’t figure out how to reclaim.

And then I went through my transition. And suddenly I had a framework to understand crucifixion and resurrection. A life dying so that a new life could be born. The death wasn’t demanded, but inevitable. When one lives into their truth often death occurs. When one speaks truth to power often death occurs. When we live with integrity in communities that don’t want us to tell our truth often death occurs. When you stand up to the Empire, when you claim that another world is possible, when you live into the truth of that possible world the powers have no choice but to try and stop you no matter what, even if that means killing you. Crucifixion isn’t demanded, it’s inevitable. But that isn’t the final word.

For me, whether Jesus was actually resurrected or not doesn’t really matter. What matters is the idea of resurrection. What gives me hope is that there is truth in this story. It might not be literal truth, but it is the deepest truth I know. And it is the truth I cling to: That there is something more powerful than fear. There is something more powerful than death.

The idea of resurrection isn’t that everything miraculously gets better. It isn’t that we have something to look forward to after we die. It means that here and now we get to live without fear. We get to know that there is something stronger than death. We get to know that there is power in the truth. That you can’t stop the revolution. You can stare down fear and death and you can live again. You can withstand the death of relationships, the loss of communities, the loss of beliefs and doctrines that once held great meaning.

And yet we are left changed and with scars. When Jesus was resurrected (so the story goes) and he met Mary in the garden she didn’t recognize him. When he sees the disciples in the upper room he shows them his scars. He is living again, but he is fundamentally changed. When we undergo resurrection we are changed. People and communities might no longer recognize us. We might carry scars that remind us of who we used to be and what we’ve had to come through to get to where we are. Jesus wasn’t resurrected into a perfect, shiny, holy body. He carried his scars. Just like I carry the physical scars of my transition and the emotional scars of leaving my home church and community, of rethinking my faith.

I believe in the crucifixion and resurrection not as salvific in and of themselves, but as they point to the larger wonder of what it means to be fully alive. To stand up to the Empire. To confront injustice both in the world and in ourselves. To know that we can face down whatever comes and know that we can live again. That we are stronger than we know. That we can carry scars and still be whole. That is resurrection.

this week has been a week full of anxiety and anticipation. i spent hours processing and distinguishing between guilt and shame. last week when someone placed their palms out toward me and said palms up for palm sunday i realized that in my excitement and preparation for pass over i completely forgot about Palm SUnday. the triumphant entry of the Christian King and savior. the man who was once my lord and personal savior and yet no longer holds that same place in my heart. this friday i sat at my rabbis parents place with 46 other people and participated in the retelling of the exodus. on that night Good friday and the crucifixion had not crossed my mind and yet i was very aware that i needed to write this reflection. the straining realization that this year passover and Easter were in the same week. that for me this week meant two Seders back to back followed by Easter service and four more days of passover. so as i sit down to write this i am reminded that in every story whether we see them as factual truth or fictional truth, there are things we definitely can learn. so i decided to look at the resurrection story with the question: what is it that i can learn from the resurrection story? what are the similarities and what are the differences and why should i care?
my rejections of Jesus as Messiah or Divine is not the same as a rejection of Jesus being resurrected. i believe this is the beautiful and scandalous thing about the cross. for me the resurrection story is much more than a story about redemption atonement and grace. so much of what i have heard about the resurrection is tangled up in bad theology and often times with the attempt to coerce and convince others in believing that their need for jesus to forgive them of their sins as evident in his death and resurrection trumps the need for liberation and justice in the world. perhaps this is true for me because i believe that as humans we are all connected to each other and all of our liberation is bound to each other. the first easter story happened during or around pass over the retelling of slavery and a peoples liberation from that slavery likewise the death and burial of jesus can represent oppression in our lives and the resurrection represents liberation and freedom from oppression. for me i must live in the tension of oppression and liberation to truly find value in the cross and the resurrection story
we read 4.5 different versions of what happened that first resurrection sunday. i say 4.5 because of the extra 12 verses added on to mark later. in all versions women were the first ones to hear the news. the other common thread was all versions had an empty tomb…. and the rest well lets just say have been interpreted by history and the ones who retold the story. what can we learn from the similarities though. first off that woman are fierce fabulous and essential to the story. woman should not be on the margins of the christian story because they are indeed central to the message.  it is beyond my comprehension that if women were the first ones to hear and share the good news and it is one of the few things the writers of gospels could agree on, why the church for centuries have placed women on the fringes and margins, preventing them from being preachers of the message of the gospel? resurrection is about liberation and if we cant liberate our minds from careless and mindless oppression of others the resurrection can easily become distorted and cheapened. woman are told to keep quite and men becomes the only ones who can be carriers of the Christian message.
the version i am interested in is the account the write of mark explains. he ends his account before the other 12 verses was added on with,” Overcome with terror and dread, they fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.” this intrigues me on so many levels… what message are you too afraid to share with others out of fear? i can continue to reflect on this text and imagine why they were afraid but the text does indeed end there and so will i also

The temple cleansing story is one that is well known and often depicted in art: Jesus brandishing a whip and flipping over tables. It’s a rather strange text and gets pulled out at strange times. So let me start this off by saying what I think this text is NOT about.

It’s really important to me that this text be understood in the context of its time: This is NOT a screed against Judaism. We need to be really careful when we read texts from the newer testament that we don’t read our own issues into the text. We need to not read this text from a Christian point of view, at least not at first. Instead we need to read this text from a Jewish point of view as they lived in a place occupied by Rome.

Can we, as Christians, learn from this text? Absolutely. But not by reading it as if we are better than the Jewish people or by reading this as if Jesus was making comparisons between Christians and Jews.

This text is NOT about a rebuke of Jewish temple worship per se. Often people bring out this text and say that Jesus was condemning the ways that Jewish people were worshipping, with the assumption that the Temple is evil and therefore you should all be Christians. I really don’t think that’s what’s happening here. Jesus was born, lived, and died a Jew. This isn’t an overthrow of Temple worship.

I also don’t think this text is about condoning violence. I personally believe that in this text we get a broader understanding of what non-violence can look like. This might be slightly controversial but I believe that there are times when the destruction of property can be a non-violent and valid action. When we look at this text and claim that Jesus was being violent we are equating the flipping of tables with violence toward people and I just don’t think that comparison is correct.

So what is this text about? I think in some ways this text is about a critique of worship. Not as an attempt to say that Jewish worship is bad and we should all be Christians, but in the same type of critique that happens from those inside the church. I think of the ways in which I have railed against the church’s treatment of women and queer folks. I am critique the church from inside of it as someone committed to the church. I think that’s partly what is happening here. I read some scholars who think that Jesus is condemning the idea of sacrificial worship that has been taking the place of actions: Meaning people are coming and sacrificing but they aren’t taking care of the poor, they aren’t taking care of their neighbor. It’s the same type of critique many of the prophets leveled. They said that God didn’t want sacrifices or offerings if people weren’t also taking care of one another.

And if Jesus is saying that sacrificial justice isn’t enough: That people also need to be living out the distributive justice prescribed in the law: (the jubilee year, caring for orphans and widows, etc.) that kind of thing is also a threat to Roman power as they were the ones in charge of the distribution of bread.

Jesus critique hits at the heart of all of it. Of worship without deeds, of state control, of money and power.

And this is where I think we can learn something: I think the struggles of the church today are very similar to the struggle of the Temple that Jesus was critiquing. How often do we worship without taking care of each other? We substitute church services for service in our community. We spend our money on buildings and staff instead of on community projects and feeding people who need it.

We rely on the state to keep us safe, churches get to avoid taxes so long as they don’t tell people who to vote for, our politics and our religion are all mixed up and yet people are still hungry, and there are orphans and widows not being cared for.

This, to me, is the heart of what the Gospel is all about: A radical critique of who has power, who has money, and who is being left out. It’s a critique of excuses and inaction. It’s a critique of the ways in which we let good behaviour and good manners allow injustice to reign. Instead Jesus makes a scene; a symbolic and dramatic gesture to demonstrate that all is not well.

What scenes should we be making?

the Transfiguration is certainly a story that I can look at and recognize as part of my own journey.

trans·fig·u·ra·tion/ˌtransfigyəˈrāSHən/

Noun:

1. A complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state.
2. Christ’s appearance in radiant glory to three of his disciples (Matthew 17:2, Mark 9:2–3, Luke 9:28-36).

for me the complete change of form into a more beautiful or spiritual state has nothing to do with physical looks. the transformation to authenticity is one of the most beautiful things in the world that for someone like me who have lived a good portion of my life not being true to myself or the person i know i was called to be the transformation to authenticity can have a sort of glowing affect. when a person is in love folks tend to say to that person you look happy so happy that you are literally glowing. love and authenticity are definitely two things that can lead us to a place of transfiguration. for me this moment of transfiguration that the author of Luke is describing  for us is not as unique as it appears at first glance. Jesus takes Peter John and James up on the mountain top with him to pray. as Jesus began to pray his face changed and Moses and Elijah appeared next to him. and began to talk to him about his departure. peter begins to pay attention and says master its good we are here witnessing this let us make a dwelling place for you here; 3 of them actually one for you, one for moses, and one for elijah… nothing strange there right, just Jesus talking to some prophets who have been dead for a very very long time. But for me Jesus speaking to prophets that had been dead for a long time is not the piece that i find interesting. the part that i find most interesting is the part where Peter asks to make a dwelling place for Jesus. Peter recognized somethig great was happening and not wanting to miss it decides it would be a great idea to build a dwelling place for jesus and the other prophets. the problem with this was in the process of wanting to build a dwelling for jesus peter would have been preventing Jesus from growing to his full potential. when i think about what would have happened if Jesus would have stayed on the mountain top in his little bubble with moses and elijah and never actually fulfilled the work he was called to do. in my own life i have had mountain top experiences transformative experiences but always find my self struggling with the peters in my life who want to build a shrine for me when im in those places. it is in those places that peopel recognize the change occuring recognize that we are on the brink of greatness and true authenticity that we are tranforming and not yet completely transformed that those around us even those who are our supporters find it much easier to keep us in that place instead of experiencing the mountain top with us so eager for our tranformation and completely unaware of our calling from G-d expects for us to stay on that mountain top for ever.

i suppose im many ways this was typical of peter. peter the same man who later on tells Jesus he wont die and jesus ends up calling him satan. perhaps peter was just afraid of Jesus dying so suggest to build the dwelling place for him to prevent him from coming down to do the work he is supposed to because that would end in death. and in this way i can relate with peter. tired of people leaving me tired of feeling abandoned and left alone. in jesus peter found a master a leader who finally felt comfortable following a leader who was honest and would call him out on his shit a leader who would walk the walk that he kept talking about a man who would break bread with every and anybody and this is the man who would on this mountain top and this story that is commonly known as the transfiguration but for peter perhaps he recognized it as a story of neglect and abandonment so he makes a feeble attempt at keeping something someone close by that would not leave him, would not fail him someone in which he could follow in his foot steps. this passage in many ways is one in which i could find myself in many different ways.

I love the progression of this passage: The full of the Spirit experience of being baptized followed by 40 days of fasting. Then temptation and the announcement of his ministry. There’s a lot to unpack.

It is said that Lent is observed to commemorate the 40 days that Jesus spent in the dessert. In order to be like Jesus we are to also abstain from something for 40 days. Some folks fast, some give up chocolate or Facebook. I must admit I’ve always been a bit uncomfortable with Lent. This idea of denying the body makes me anxious. As a trans* person I spent years denying the existence of my body; I spent years thinking my body was sinful or shameful. I don’t want to internalize those messages anymore. So what is the healthy way for me to observe Lent? In the past I have added a practice: More reading, more prayer, and that seems better for me.

Joan Chittister in her book on the liturgical year says this about Lent: “It is about opening our hearts one more time to the Word of God in the hope that, this time, hearing it anew, we might allow ourselves to become new as a result of it. It is the call to prayer, to liturgy, to the co-creation of the world. It is about our rising to the full stature of human reflection and, as a result, accepting the challenge to become fully alive, fully human….”

And that resonates. Jesus fasts, then denies all of the temptations to power. He refuses to take the role of the emperor and provide bread for himself, he refuses to take control of the nation and be a political king, he refuses to have himself lifted up. Instead he claims that he is called to preach good news to the poor, preach the release of prisoners, and the liberation of the oppressed. He understood the heart of his calling and was unwilling to be swayed from it.

What is our calling? Do we know what it means to be fully alive and to be involved in the co-creation of the world? What if we spent lent figuring out how we can be involved in the release of prisoners, the liberation of the oppressed, and preaching the good news?

Can we use Lent to root out the places that are keeping up from being fully alive? To rest up for the work ahead. To go deep into the remembrance of our baptism and get ready once again to pick of the mantle of our calling. We can best speak truth to power if we are centered and able to tap into the Spirit.

A response to reading Acts of the Apostles, chapters 1 – 7
Alternating lines could be spoken by first one and then many, or rotate among the group. We passed a notebook around a table, for instance.

In the beginning, O God, your Spirit swept over the face of the waters
In the beginning, your Spirit rushed in to embrace those gathered in the upper room
In the beginning, you spoke the word of creation to the deep
In the beginning, your apostles spoke words of your power to those from every nation under heaven
In the beginning, you breathed life into the human being
In the beginning, you breathed life into the community Jesus commissioned to be witnesses to what they had seen and heard

All together:

In our beginning, O Holy One,
accompany us with your Spirit
prepare us to speak of where we see you creating and liberating in our lives,
and fill us with the new life of community.
We pray this in the name that our ancestors in the faith could not keep silent about,
Jesus the Messiah.
AMEN.

Closing Ritual—December 4, 2011—House of the Transfiguration

A response to reading Acts of the Apostles, chapters 1 – 7. Anointing with oil is a particularly powerful sign of God’s presence in some Christian traditions. The blessings weave together the experience of the apostles with contemporary queer people within the Christian family: claiming our truth in the face of opposition, caring for others and doing justice, and resisting the silencing of our own names as much as the apostles resisted the silencing of name of Jesus, through whom they experienced God’s love and healing.

Reader: A reading from Acts 2:25b-28 (The following comes from The New Testament and Psalms: An Inclusive Version, 1995, Oxford University Press)

I saw the Lord always before me,
at my side so that I will not be shaken;
therefore my heat was glad, and my tongue rejoiced;
moreover my flesh will live in hope.
For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,
or let your Holy One experience corruption.
You have made known to me the ways of life;
you will make me full of gladness with your presence

One: We have not been abandoned as queer witnesses to your life, Christ, for you follow through on your promise to empower us with the Holy Spirit.

As we leave this place, let us be reminded of God’s anointing with the Spirit—God’s presence with us. Let us each turn to our neighbor and anoint them with simple oil and three blessings. You make make the sign of the cross, a circle, or no pattern at all. I’m going to make a cross inside of a circle, if that is OK.
Anoint each other with the following blessings:

[Name], may the Spirit enable you to speak truth to power with boldness.

May the Spirit guide your hands to share what you have those in need; and to raise them in support for those struggling against oppression.

And may the Spirit be ever with you so that, thought authorities may order it, who you are and who Jesus is will not be silenced.

copyright 2011 by Ben Masters, printed with permission.

We decided that we would read through the book of Acts together and then come together and discuss it. We also talked about trying out various spiritual practices to see which ones fit both us and the community.

We decided to meet every first and third Sunday of the month at 3pm at the home of one of the community members (you can send us a message if you’re local to Minneapolis and want to join us)!

We are really excited about this community and we hope that you’ll join us.

I dream of a small, old, stone church building. We’d rip out the pews in the sanctuary and put in really comfortable couches. We’d never lock the doors so the church could actually become a sanctuary. People could sleep on the couches day or night. Come in out of the cold and warm up. Rest and relax.

Downstairs would be a washer and dryer that anyone could use. There would also be a shower down there with real, clean towels and toiletries that were free for the taking. Upstairs would be classrooms that would be open and quiet during the day for people who wanted a space to sit and read or pray.

We would have a community meal at least once a week that would be open to everyone. No restrictions, no exceptions.

We would pray the divine office during the day and that would be open to anyone as well. Although it would not be required.

Our services would be a time to gather and reflect. We would often do three fold communion (where you share an actual meal together, wash one another’s feet, and partake of bread and wine). Our worship would be contemplation and a space to rest and refresh ourselves for activism. Our service would be activism in all its forms; being a part of the community, working for change.

That’s what I dream about. That’s the type of space and the type of church I want to be a part of.

If you are interested in being a part of this, or if you are in need of a chaplain, please let me know.